this morning, i woke up from a dream crying. in the dream, i arrived at my mamay se’s wake and his absence was slowly enveloping me as i walked passed our relatives. i was crying while digging inside my bag, as if in search of something, to keep my head down and avoid conversations because all i could manage was to sob in reply. as i approached the coffin, i slowly tilted my head to say goodbye to my mamay se. but instead, i found myself in my bed slowly waking to the sound of my alarm.
i got up and went to the bathroom to cry some more. i tried to remember the whole dream but failed. instead, i was reminded of the last time my nanay se also visited me in my dream.
coincidentally, it’s grandparent’s week today until march 18. so please go and spend some time with your lolo and lola while you still can. hug them, kiss them, tell them you love them, and make them tell you stories from their younger years.
i miss you, mamay se, nanay se, and nanay lipa… i wish i could have spent more time with you. thank you for making me feel loved even though you have so many grandchildren to love. i hope my heart will be as big as yours. i love you.