on friendships

i have always believed that friendships don’t end. when i drift away from someone (and/or vice versa), our friendship doesn’t disappear. i just imagine it floating somewhere, like air. and sometimes i can’t help but be reminded of the friendship and breathe in the good, and sometimes even the bad, memories. then hope and wait for another chance to rekindle the friendship just like before.

but the older i get, the more often i find myself thinking that maybe some friendships are bound to end after all. and then one day, i was already slowly letting go of people who tire me. i willed myself to just stop reaching out to those who constantly waste my time. it was hard to cut ties but once i took the first step, i was on a roll. i deleted contacts in my phone book and eventually, even people on facebook.

the easiest ones to cut off my life were those people who i barely know now or maybe didn’t even really know in the first place. why am i even still trying to connect with these people?

the next ones to go were those who seemed to have decided to not be friends with me anymore–people who can’t even reply to my yes-no sms, and those who facebook says have seen my invites and messages but never react. i’m sorry that the “friends forever” believer in me failed to recognize their distancing techniques right away. but really, it’s their lost and not mine.

i also realized that i have been keeping people in my life who are acting friends only when it’s convenient for them–like when they’re near my area, no one else is available, or their original plan was cancelled. mygahd, what was i doing to myself?

it’s weird but i found it hardest to let go of those under the “friends in need” category. somehow, i feel like they are my responsibility. they remember me only when they need me because they know that i will always come to their rescue. i was their ever dependable and ever reliable friend. these people always take something from me, mostly my precious time, like i owe it to them. but where are they when i need them?

the past year, i was reminded of who really matters in my life. and this year, i vow to spend more time with my family and closest friends who make efforts to be part of my world. i might even make space for new people who would find as much value in our friendship as i do.

to meaningful friendships and wise use of time, y’all! have a happy weekend.

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2 thoughts on “on friendships

  1. true… as you grow, people will try to pull you down… one sad thing about (old) friends, some of them refuse to let you change, even if it’s for good…

    cheers to new and real friendships! :)

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