mamay se

today, my mamay se was reunited with my nanay se. i know that he is now free from pain and feeling young again. but more than relief for him, i am just feeling sad right now.

i can only be thankful that i was able to visit mamay while he still has the strength to sit down and talk with me. he was supposed to celebrate his birthday on august 7 and the last time i visited him he told me he’s not sure if he’ll still make it. he was already tired, i guess. he has resigned to time, he told me. “kung kakaunin na ako ay sasama na ako…

but i was hopeful then. i told him to eat well so that he will regain his strength.

and then earlier this afternoon, around 1:30 p.m., my mother called me to tell the sad news that mamay passed away. i still cannot absorb it. death is a hard thing to accept.

now as i try to remember my moments with mamay, one memory stands out–the way he says “ang aming almi” when i was still a kid. and then there was this memory from about nine years ago, when one of cousins gave birth to a baby girl that mamay said reminded him of me, “mayroon na tayong bagong almi,” he announced.

i also remember how mamay was gifted with a healing hand. whatever body aches we had were gone after a massage from him. recently, i discovered my nephew might have inherited that gift. he would always ask me if i wanted a massage. “ikaw pala ang papalit sa mamay e,” i told him. i almost feel guilty saying it. because mamay will never be replaced.

paalam, mamay.

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