…365 days from now?
* * *
today i have been with this company for exactly a year, which is something because this is my longest stint so far, hehe.
one year. how time flew.
it feels like just yesterday i was seated in front of our hr manager’s desk for my final interview. i remember how he asked me then about my future plans. what do you really want to do? he stressed. and i told him that i want to make a difference and change the world someday.
funny, huh? but, yes, that’s exactly what i want to do.
* * *
today is also my official second working-girl anniversary. by this, i meant that i am not counting the in-between-job months, hehe.
as you may *or not* have known, i spent my first working year for the government – six months each with the house of representatives and office of the president, respectively.
it took me one year to fully understand that i cannot make a difference in the system before it changes me. no matter how big i feel about myself – batangueña yan, up na tapos cum laude pa, as they put it – my experience reminded me that i am just life-size *extra small pa!* and there are gods aside from the one in heaven.
and so i said goodbye to politics and decided to penetrate the corporate world of makati, where i felt like a lost kid in a vast playground. not knowing the rules, it seemed like i stepped into a totally different planet. or maybe i did.
* * *
one year hence.
and here i am, still working with the same company. not knowing, however, exactly what difference i am contributing to the world by being a copy editor. not to mention that i feel overworked and underpayed, but who doesn’t anyway?
in short, i am still lost.
and why i am still here, i don’t know. maybe it’s the friendships i have built over time or the learning experience everyday or i am a masochist, simply put.
or maybe. just maybe – half-hoping, half-believing – i am making a difference without knowing it. perhaps, i have been touching lives too. and maybe i can really change the world one day. otherwise, i could have flown with time to somewhere else.
one year. and i don’t know if there are more to count. another year of maybe’s would just seem too long.
* * *
they say the first step is to get lost.
and then one day i’ll find where i truly belong.
i can’t wait to change the world.