where will i be

…365 days from now?

* * *

today i have been with this company for exactly a year, which is something because this is my longest stint so far, hehe.

one year. how time flew.

it feels like just yesterday i was seated in front of our hr manager’s desk for my final interview. i remember how he asked me then about my future plans. what do you really want to do? he stressed. and i told him that i want to make a difference and change the world someday.

funny, huh? but, yes, that’s exactly what i want to do.

* * *

today is also my official second working-girl anniversary. by this, i meant that i am not counting the in-between-job months, hehe.

as you may *or not* have known, i spent my first working year for the government – six months each with the house of representatives and office of the president, respectively.

it took me one year to fully understand that i cannot make a difference in the system before it changes me. no matter how big i feel about myself – batangueña yan, up na tapos cum laude pa, as they put it – my experience reminded me that i am just life-size *extra small pa!* and there are gods aside from the one in heaven.

and so i said goodbye to politics and decided to penetrate the corporate world of makati, where i felt like a lost kid in a vast playground. not knowing the rules, it seemed like i stepped into a totally different planet. or maybe i did.

* * *

one year hence.

and here i am, still working with the same company. not knowing, however, exactly what difference i am contributing to the world by being a copy editor. not to mention that i feel overworked and underpayed, but who doesn’t anyway?

in short, i am still lost.

and why i am still here, i don’t know. maybe it’s the friendships i have built over time or the learning experience everyday or i am a masochist, simply put.

or maybe. just maybe – half-hoping, half-believing – i am making a difference without knowing it. perhaps, i have been touching lives too. and maybe i can really change the world one day. otherwise, i could have flown with time to somewhere else.

one year. and i don’t know if there are more to count. another year of maybe’s would just seem too long.

* * *

they say the first step is to get lost.

and then one day i’ll find where i truly belong.

i can’t wait to change the world.

@ multiply

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