i want to cry

not for any particular reason but just because. these past days have seen a very busy me to the extent that i didn’t even have time to understand, acknowledge even, my feelings on several things, issues and events. i am just plain sad or tired everyday.

swimming with my hs friends last weekend helped. at least i felt happy. only for a while, though. of all times, it happened when i was with people i call friends but who now i barely really know. i am confused whether i was surprised that i enjoyed being with them or disappointed that the moments were short-lived.

friendships are so hard to maintain these days. well, as all relationships are, i suppose, because the only thing harder is being alone.

speaking of alone, i’ve been so in a way since monday. kim’s review is over and so he’s now staying in the province again. the good side of it is that i get to read my murakami at night. two more chapters to go and i’d be done with, but not over, norwegian wood. i so heart murakami na. last night, i had to stop reading at one point and tell emman how good the description and narration are. watanabe’s words melt me. makes me want to cry.

yeah, i guess i have too many mixed emotions bottled inside that i’m just finding everything tearjerky. i cried after watching 300. but so did jeng.



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