20 days away

kim and i were sitting side by side on the stairs, watching the kids playing at the glorietta lobby. we were talking about the stuff of life when he commented on how fast the days went by. he was referring to his ojt which will be over in less than a week. ambilis ng araw, march na! that was all he said but that statement struck me to an extent i did not expect it will. yeah, indeed, time flies. and i didn’t realize i was crying already – silent tears, literally. it was like i was suddenly swallowed by a loneliness i was escaping from for some time now. it was his voice that took me back to the mall.

he: bakit ka umiiyak?
me: huh? wala… naalala ko lang yung text ni wendi kanina… sabi niya it’s 20 days away… bigla ko lang naisip ngayon na oo… ambilis nga ng araw… almost one year na pala yun…
he: tama na… masaya na si mites dun…

yeah, maybe she is. i hope she is. i don’t have the kind of faith she has/had. but knowing how deep that faith is/was, i bet she really IS happy wherever she is now.

one year and still whenever i think about it, it’s like i was hearing it again over the phone for the first time. and it was aloi’s voice on the other end of the line. i don’t know for how long i would be this way. i have experienced a number of deaths of loved ones and friends before and after she passed away. but i don’t know why hers is one that i can’t absorb until now.

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